Tea Party & The Dentist

One of Hayden's friends from church had a tea party and Hayden was invited to attend.  Hannah's mother, Katie, mailed out the cutest little tea pot invitation and Hayden carried it around with her for days.  Everyday she'd ask if it was time for the tea party.  On the actual day (yesterday) she woke up so excited.  We first headed to dance class and then after she got to attend the tea party.  I didn't get to stay and watch the fun, but Katie sent me some pictures.  Katie promised her daughter Hannah that if she potty trained she would have a party for her and it worked!  Here is what Katie wrote me along with the pictures she sent:

"Thank you for letting Hayden come to the party.  She was hilarious...cracking jokes and saying her jibberish every once in a while in the middle of a sentence.  Everyone was laughing at the things she was saying."

This describes one of my favorite parts of Hayden!  On days like today I have to remember this about her and remind myself of her good characteristics.  Hayden wouldn't keep her cute hat on like everyone else, but I think her little ponytail from dance had something to do with that.

  Hayden with her friend Hannah

She had so much fun and didn't want to leave!  Katie let each of the girls take come a tea cup and saucer filled with fun little treats and Hayden has carried it around the last two days, sipping her "tea" or I should say water :)

Today was probably one of the worst mom days of my life.  We have been talking about going to the dentist because one of her favorite books talks about going to the dentist.  So after I read it to her the first time I told her she was going to see the dentist soon and she was really upset by it.  So every once in awhile we'd talk about it and I'd tell her all the fun things she was going to do at the dentist (ie new toothbrush, sticker, prize...)  I thought my strategy had worked.  Today she woke up asking when we were leaving for the dentist office and was so excited about going.  The second she saw the doors to the office she bolted back towards the car!  I have never seen her do that, ever.  I dragged her in and she was kicking and screaming.  I finally calmed her down in the waiting room and she was playing with the toys when they called her name.  At 3 she is suppose to go back by herself and get her teeth cleaned, but it was clear this wasn't happening.  She was kicking, hitting, screaming at the top of her lungs, and begging to go back to the car.  It was awful.  I started tearing up by the time we got back to the chair.  It was so humiliating.  I felt like such a terrible mother.   Here my child is carrying on and screaming and yelling at the dentist and his staff.  I got some awesome looks!  I kept telling myself, this is a pediatric dentist office, I'm sure they've seen it all, but no doubt today, Hayden topped their list!  Through my own tears, I ended up holding Hayden on my lap and straddling her legs with my legs and holding her arms down.  She even managed to get out of this at one point and fell to the floor.  It finally occurred to me to tell her that she wasn't getting a shot and then she calmed down a lot.  She sat on my lap and said over and over, "no shot today?" and let the dentist look in her mouth.  No teeth cleaning done today, just a quick exam.  We got back to the car, I had a good cry and I've been trying to move on with my day.   Why are moments like this so defeating?  I can't help but feel her behavior is a reflection of me and my mothering skills.  I know that's not totally true, but man, it was an awful experience.  I already told Paul he is up next, I am clearly not stable enough to maintain composure in a situation like that!